But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:15 NLT

Extending forgiveness to the ones who hurt me was one of the hardest parts of my healing process. Yet, as difficult as it was, it was what helped me to move forward. In order for me to be able to coparent in peace and become free from the bondage of abuse, I had to forgive and keep forgiving. I am not here to tell you that it will be easy, but it is definitely worth it. Sometimes, I would think to myself, "How many times can I forgive when I never even received an apology?" I'd say that I had forgiven until that next time I would feel wronged. Then I would be faced with the harsh reality that I had not. The truth is that unforgiveness will eat you alive from the inside out. Every time I thought about the abuse, manipulation, or belittling I could literally feel the unforgiveness rise up within me. It was not until I landed in the hospital with chest pain that I realized that I needed to do more than say I forgave; I had to truly let it go. That doesn't mean that I subject myself to the same abuse. No, it means that I give it to God and let Him deal with it. When I struggled with it, I reflected on the Word. The Lord makes it clear that I need to forgive to be forgiven. If you also find this to be an issue with moving forward, pray and keep praying. It's a constant work to be free. Pray and meditate and ask God to help you. He will. If He could forgive the very ones who persecuted Him, surely we can too.

Update as of 6/11/18: Want to learn more about overcoming unforgiveness? Join my exclusive online community, Not By My Own Association, where we are working on this together over the next 6 weeks. Admission to the membership is ongoing - join us today! 

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