Can Co-Dependents Really Let Go and Let God?

One of the first slogans I learned in Al-Anon was “Let Go, Let God.” Growing up in the church I was familiar with the phrase but uncertain of what actions were required to really make this happen. That in itself seems contradictory to begin with. How could I really Let Go and Let God help me through life's circumstances? I had become accustomed to being the fixer; the one people went to for all of their problems. It feels unnatural to not be the solution or find the solution to everyone else's issues. Insert codependency. But isn't this just part of being a mom; an entrepreneur; an employee; a partner? Feel free to enter whatever title you desire. The resounding answer for me was no. In fact it was unhealthy behavior and not sustainable in the long-term.

This need to feel needed was not the flex or the badge of honor I thought it was. It was the recipe for overwhelming emotional breakdown and exacerbated anxiety. It is part of what landed me in a wheelchair in the airport after a family trip which was filled with the highs of my engagement to the lows of rambunctious adolescents and denial of a much bigger disease. It was a forceful sign that I needed to change my need to control and finally surrender my will to the Lord. My therapist told me at one point that I was collecting red flags. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess it's true what they say: Truth Hurts. Even with the warning signs I saw in my life and wise counsel I received, I still struggled with the concept that I didn't need to help people who didn't want my help. I also didn't have to prioritize everyone and everything else at the detriment of my own wellbeing.

December 31, 2024 that all changed. No it wasn't your typical night of New Years Eve parties or resolutions. Instead it was a vivid imagery of what my life would look like if I didn’t Let Go and Let God take the lead. Since then I have intentionally released people, places, and things that needed me to relinquish ultimate control in order to thrive. I've released my plan, my vision, my ideas of how situations must play out. The fact of the matter is God's plan is what's best for me and them.

“Nobody talks about the peace you experience once you let go and let God.” - Anonymous

I read that in a devotional this week. It reaffirmed my continued need to let go of outcomes and to embrace God's peace. Three actions I took to start to Let Go and Let God:

Pray out loud. Pouring my heart out to God in prayer has been incredibly powerful for me. It feels cleansing and similar to a declaration. It's like me telling God I need You and Him coming to my side with open arms. Try it out in a safe space just you and God.

Focused on myself. I was so busy focusing on others that I neglected myself. Once I shifted my attention to my goals i.e. returning to graduate school; enrolling in a domestic violence leadership academy; eating 3 meals per day - life became more fulfilling and gave me something to look forward to. What area of your life do you need to focus on?

Stepped back so others could save themselves. I am not Captain-Save-A- you know the rest and neither are you! God is their Savior too and He's a gentleman. He doesn't force Himself on any of us. He's there when we're ready to yield. I led them to the altar and left them there literally. If or when it's time God will bring them back to me if it's meant to happen. And if He doesn't that's cool too. In the meantime I press on towards the goal of Philippians 3:13. Who are you upset with because they didn't take your unsolicited help?

How do you practice Let Go, Let God in your life? Let me know in the comments then send this to someone you know who needs to Let Go and Let God. 💜 #NotByMyOwn